Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize