I've blown a few things in my day
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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