I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
