the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize