i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
accomplished twins. life is a go
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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