he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
