google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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