I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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