i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I have already put on my inside pants.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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