Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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