I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
