don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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