Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Pappa wants mamma naked
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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