ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Even my vagina gasped.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
