What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
