Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize