Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
