It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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