shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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