Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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