tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
