You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
