Taylor Swift is so right about you.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Be still, my beating vagina.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
