Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Randomize
