so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
