are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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