kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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