just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
the night ended with taco bell and tears
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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