Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
