He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
