drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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