I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
