I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
We are all done wearing pants today
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
