my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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