just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
