I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
