I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
