So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
