He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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