We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
