my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
