im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
