P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
