girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
