At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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