i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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