I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
