If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
