I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
