So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize