when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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