She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize