Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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