I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
