But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
