My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
