Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
