420 ftw
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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