i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
