I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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