Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize