i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
