i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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