Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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