But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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