The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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