ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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