She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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