I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
that's an acceptable place to lick
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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