It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
