At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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