this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
jump out the window naked night went bad
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