Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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