hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
okay pat passed out under dana's car
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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