i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I'm really busy with my period
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
