well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
