sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize