Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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