Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
