I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
This house was built for laser tag.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I am one with the molecules
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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