Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
